Today marks the beginning of Black History Month 2013. Although one certainly doesn’t have to wait to have a direct connection to Black people to honor Black history in this country, as a White man married to a Black woman and father to a Biracial child, I try to do a little extra to recognize and honor Black History. Toward that end, for other guys in my position (or for those who may one day be), I’ve created “The White Dad in a Mixed-Race Family’s Guide to Black History Month.”
Here we go:
1. It’s the whole month.
2. It is neither funny nor acceptable on Lincoln’s birthday to re-enact the Emancipation Proclamation. You’re not Daniel Day-Lewis.
3. Watching Interracial Porn is not “doing something for the cause”
4. You should not go up to the Black gentleman at the office and shout “hey brother” while giving him The Tommie Smith fist in the air
5. The N-word is off-limits. It always is, but especially in February.
6. Reciting hip-hop lyrics isn’t honoring Black history. It is only marking you as a White guy in khakis who is doing something horribly inappropriate and ill-performed.
7. Similarly, you do not have “99 problems.” You have some problems. Probably fewer than you think. Perhaps your biggest one is a tendency toward self-pity.
8. Thinking that Beyonce is hot is not a demonstration of your affection for the “Black Community.’ It just shows that you’re a middle-aged, married father who lives such a sexless existence that mustard in a squeeze bottle gets you worked up.
9. Next time you think you’re having a bad day at the office, read Jackie Robinson’s biography. He had bad days at the office.
10. The original King of Comedy was and is Bill Cosby. You should definitely know that.