Being a parent is great.  It’s also tough stuff.  But, ultimately, it’s a journey that you go on with your child wherein you learn a lot about your child, the World and yourself.

In this last week, this is what I’ve learned:

1. Being a dad makes you marvel at the human back and wonder how long yours will hold out.

2. Being a dad means learning that drawing a “line in the sand” means nothing to a toddler whose favorite game is “cross the line in the sand,” a person who would like nothing more than to go to the beach, have you draw a line in the sand and say “don’t cross that,” just so he could laugh, cross the line and say “More!”

3. Being a dad means realizing that when you’re with your son or daughter you’re a better person, which also means acknowledging that on your own there’s definitely room for improvement.

4. Being a dad means realizing that you will be tired a lot, but not all the time. You’ll only be tired when you’re awake. When you’re asleep, you’re fine.

5. Being a dad means watching “World War Z” and then believing you can be Brad Pitt, but acknowledging that for zombies you’re going to substitute cockroaches

6. Being a dad means it doesn’t matter how much you can bench, it matters whether you can carry 4 fully-packed pieces of luggage through an airport and up 5 flights of stairs without putting them down once.

7. Being a dad means realizing that if the family is a football team, you’re the offensive line, which means: (a) you will never be MVP; and (b) if you don’t do your job, the team might still win, but they’re gonna get they’re asses kicked in the process.

8. Being a dad means acting disappointed that your son stomped through puddles and got his feet wet even though inside you’re thinking “That’s right. Stomp the sh*t out of those puddles. Have fun. Because when you grow up, fun’s not allowed . . . . Unless you’re rich. So enjoy the fun while it lasts because we’re not the Rockefellers.”

9. Being a dad means sometimes you have to stick a crayon up your nose as a demonstration of what not to do.