Don’t See Color

Written by Alex on October 20, 2014 - 129 Comments

Over time, a number of people have said to me, “Okay, I get it, you’re a White guy married to a Black woman, and you have a Biracial son.  It’s enough.  You don’t have to keep talking about it.”  You’re right.  I don’t have to.  I’d be happy to stop.

There’s just one problem.

You keep talking about it.

And, when I say “you” I don’t mean “you” I mean all the other “You” out there – the ones for whom race is still an issue.  For you, I keep talking about it.  And, I’ll keep talking about it and talking about it until:

1. People stop asking us what race our son is.

2. People stop asking us whether my wife is the nanny.

3. How my son will get treated by the cops will depend on whether his skin gets any darker and his hair gets any curlier.

4. Liberal white people with advanced degrees stop pretending they “don’t see color.”

5. The day a Cheerios commercial with a multiracial family doesn’t cause a sh*tstorm of hate mail and racial epithets.

Until then, you’re gonna have to put up with me talking about it.

129 Comments on “Don’t See Color”

  • David BiddleOctober 20, 2014 pm31 9:59 pmReply

    I get it. I agree. It’s the only way we’re ever going to get beyond it all…

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 8:35 pmReply

      Thanks for writing in and for the support! All the best!

      • Tanya MarshallOctober 21, 2014 pm31 11:29 pmReply

        I love the interracial relationship
        It’s Beautiful, I wish I was in a relationship
        Like yours and I wish you both the best
        In raising your son and strengthen your marriage.

        • AlexOctober 22, 2014 pm31 11:23 pmReply

          Thanks so much for writing and for the support!

  • La DonnaOctober 20, 2014 pm31 9:59 pmReply

    Good for you!!!

  • NameShimon McLeanOctober 20, 2014 pm31 10:00 pmReply

    Comment
    Thank you for writing this! Especially number 4!

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 8:35 pmReply

      Glad you read and enjoyed! Thanks for writing in!

  • Alicia SmithOctober 20, 2014 pm31 10:08 pmReply

    Please, never stop talking about this! It need to be heard! Although I did not marry out of my race, I know how it is to date out of my race and to be talked about as if i’m nothing and he was a sell out! I commend you for speaking your heart on this matter! Until it end….keep speaking!

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 8:36 pmReply

      Thanks for the support and for sharing your story! All the best!

  • BerniceOctober 20, 2014 pm31 10:26 pmReply

    HEAR! HEAR!

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 8:36 pmReply

      🙂

  • michelOctober 20, 2014 pm31 10:31 pmReply

    Alex I love who you are and what you stand for……I’m loving how you love your family and how protective you are of them. My family is biracial, German, French Canadian, Irish, Puerto Rican and Dominican, and Black…….we are a melting pot and we love it. Keep doing what you do !!!

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 8:37 pmReply

      Thanks so much for the love and support and for sharing your family’s story about your own “melting pot”! All the best to you!

  • Caleb GorhamOctober 20, 2014 pm31 10:33 pmReply

    KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT!!!! Thats great though seriously I love this. I appreciate your tenacity in the face of resistance.

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 8:37 pmReply

      Thanks so much!

  • Spencer HutchinsonOctober 20, 2014 pm31 10:53 pmReply

    Hey Alex, I’m biracial, 30 years old and grew up in the South. I have great hope for you and your family, and I believe that inspite of all the aweful stuff that lies in wait for people of color out there, you’ll find that things will only get better for you and your family as they did for mine. I love following your posts, so KEEP TALKING! People like you and your wife are the ones who are REALLY out there making a difference. I don’t know you, but I have so much love for you and family and it’s good to know that there are other people out there who REALLY care. We’re all connected, and I believe you truly know that.

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 8:38 pmReply

      Thank you for writing in and for the love and support! Thanks too for sharing your own story! It’s much appreciated!

  • MonicaOctober 20, 2014 pm31 11:02 pmReply

    Nope you can’t get off that easy. You can do something to rock the whole situation but you may not have the personal courage to do so….Start a movement for your child to be considered white by other white people. Then people will “stop seeing color”. I say this because I work in an office with folks from the middle east who are blacker than my children and yet they are accepted as white, An asian and a white person have a child and that child, no matter what they look like can “be white” but the fruit of a white person’s loins, IF THEY HAVE A PARENT WHO IS THE DECENDANT OF SLAVES< NO MATTER HOW FAR REMOVED THEY ARE FROM BEING 100% African, that child will never be considered "white" not even by their parent. Why lament about everyone's elses attitude while you continue to protect America's archaic definition of "white".

  • AngelaOctober 20, 2014 pm31 11:11 pmReply

    Speak the truth! Well said.

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 10:11 pmReply

      Thank you

  • Rob BoyteOctober 20, 2014 pm31 11:47 pmReply

    That Cheerios tempest was unreal. This is 2014, you would think interracial families would be a non-issue but that brot the reality home. We are only about 15%. The more exposure we put out there that interracial families are normal, that ppl don’t have to limit themselves to their own skin color and that you can have a normal family of a black parent, a white parent and a biracial child eating Cheerios then no one will notice that you are even talking about race. Fact is you are talking about your family.

  • JackieOctober 21, 2014 am31 12:08 amReply

    Good for you. Very happy you’re proud to have the life people hate to admit they envy you for, true happiness with someone your heart longed for, the love of your life, not just a sister.

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 10:12 pmReply

      Thanks for the support!

  • JackieOctober 21, 2014 am31 12:08 amReply

    Good for you. Very happy you’re proud to have the life people hate to admit they envy you for, true happiness with someone your heart longed for, the love of your life, not just a sister. Be happy.

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 10:12 pmReply

      Thanks!!

  • FranOctober 21, 2014 am31 12:12 amReply

    love and like who you like forget what other people say cuz at the end of the day it is all about your wife and yall baby. A blessing

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:16 pmReply

      Thanks so much!

  • deeOctober 21, 2014 am31 12:14 amReply

    Awesome answer! Love it!

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:17 pmReply

      Thanks!!

  • NameRhonda MillsOctober 21, 2014 am31 2:24 amReply

    CommentI so totally agree with you. My daughter is married to a black man and I have 5 beautiful grandchildren. I am always getting stupid quistions or even stupider looks. I don’t give a darn what color Nate is, only that he treat my daughter and grandchildren good. My daughter has the very best husband in the world and there is no better father to those children in the whole world. He is also a very hard worker and excellent provider. Retired after 20 years in the Army, and wounded in Afghanistan. You can read their FB pages to see why I am so darn proud of him and my daughter, Naomi Mulqueen Johnson and Jay Johnson.

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:17 pmReply

      Excellent! Thanks so much for sharing your story!!

  • Ana TaylorOctober 21, 2014 am31 5:08 amReply

    RESPECT!!

  • Berline CanstantOctober 21, 2014 am31 6:01 amReply

    Well said! I love interractial couple. Let the haters be, that’s what they do best. Keep talking about it until they stop questioning. Be blessed with your family!

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:20 pmReply

      Thank you for the love and support!

  • ArleneOctober 21, 2014 am31 6:01 amReply

    That’s exactly right! People will always, always fan the racial flame, yank the racial card and make endless suggestions for you; but here is what the majority fail to realize: Underneath the epidermis we are all exactly the same, created equal and make in God’s image. And the last time I checked; God cannot make a mistake. We do not serve a corrupt God and all of His creation has purpose!!

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:20 pmReply

      Thank you!

  • Mary Beth EvansOctober 21, 2014 am31 6:44 amReply

    I met a young lady once and she was one of 10 children her white missionary parents had adopted from the different countries they had visited; and I’ve never been more amazed. She told me people always ask where she’s from and if her brothers and sisters were kin to her…after that I’ve wanted children that were different color and now I have 2 biracial white/black children who look nothing alike. One is dark with black curly hair and one is lighter with blonde hair and I feel so blessed and proud that they are completely different and it’s fun shocking some people when they find out they are my children…and that’s something I will be proud to talk about for the rest of my life and theirs. Unfortunately different color people in the world is not always celebrated by some but I feel color should be one of the most cherished and appreciated things about human life. I love different colors and will always celebrate it!

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:21 pmReply

      Thank you for writing in and sharing your story!

  • LaVerneOctober 21, 2014 am31 7:03 amReply

    Comment
    Keep them coming Alex!

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:16 pmReply

      You bet I will!

  • Carmen BlackOctober 21, 2014 am31 7:31 amReply

    I am an example of a black married woman to my half Italian half white husband and my family never had to talk about it. My mom loves her son in law in every way possible. I think the talking is the judging of biracial couples and mixed children. They are not even entitled to do that except for God and he sees no color. They will pay for what they are doing soon.

    I heard about the Cheerios commercial and it’s ridiculous that ppl still feel that way! It’s getting them nowhere!

    I understand how you feel. Remember that God only sees the good in you and your family.

  • NameOctober 21, 2014 am31 8:36 amReply

    My friend I applaud your efforts! Way to go! My German husband and I have been married 21 years with 2 beautiful boys and so I know all to we’ll what you are saying here.
    Keep God center in your family and all will be OK.
    my
    Mat God bless you all.

  • Mykal rocOctober 21, 2014 am31 8:36 amReply

    Funny how I go thru the same things you go through but
    Have been dealing with it for about 25 yrs.
    Now…my oldest is 24, I have 13 kids 6 grandkids
    And only 1 all Caucasian daughter…
    Always same questions, same stereotypes
    Same ol same ol…but I have one up on you as well
    I also am heavily tattooed and own a tattoo studio
    So people are looking really funny and assuming
    I been I. The chain gang?!?! Now I have gotten
    Speeding tickets before., but never In jail…smh!
    This world will never end racism or stereotypes!

  • ShainaOctober 21, 2014 am31 8:52 amReply

    Yes! Being a multiracial woman with “light skin” and “good hair” I feel where you’re coming from, but from the prospective of what your son will have to endure. People will always talk and ask, but the one thing that you and your wife gave your son that others won’t have is the strength and endurance to keep pressing on no matter what! You all will give him the drive to have an attitude filled with low tolerance for ignorance and stupidity. He will see people truly for who they are without having as much prejudice as many would. However, by the time he is of adult age, thankfully the world will have a different view of interracial families! 🙂

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:14 pmReply

      Thanks for writing in and sharing!

  • Victori4everOctober 21, 2014 am31 9:26 amReply

    Beautiful family. Enjoy your life.

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 10:13 pmReply

      Thanks so much!

  • DebraOctober 21, 2014 am31 9:35 amReply

    Keep talking Alex.

  • Joan BruneOctober 21, 2014 am31 9:51 amReply

    Comment I agree with his editorial. I have friends of all race and color. Most are better than white people. I sincerely hope that someday it will not be even a topic. I want my future generations to never see color. Remember God put these colors on earth and how we street each other is one of his tests.

  • NameAna VazquezOctober 21, 2014 am31 11:38 amReply

    Believe me- as a black and mexican woman – growing up (i have a spanish name) people will always ask those type of questions- although i would love for people to simply ask me when im from and accept – oh im from Portland Oregon- not “no but where are you REALLY from?” lol or is this my real hair? lol i think because people look at people to fit into a cookie cutter of what a race should look like and if youre biracial or multiracial than you HAVE to choose a culture to associate with- those questions wont stop- goodluck man – living multiracial is a def challenge:) much love for you & your family:))) Comment

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 10:13 pmReply

      Thanks so much for writing in and sharing your experience! All the best!

  • KellyOctober 21, 2014 am31 11:38 amReply

    Thank you! This needs to be said because people are still so clueless. ..a black president doesn’t mean racism doesn’t exist

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 10:14 pmReply

      So true.

  • Amy DavisOctober 21, 2014 am31 11:40 amReply

    I couldn’t have said it better myself. Why is race always the question? How about we are all a part of the Human Race! Keep talking about it! Racism is alive and well across all races.

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 10:32 pmReply

      Thanks so much for the support! Rest assured, I’ll keep talking.

  • RolandoOctober 21, 2014 am31 11:42 amReply

    I am married to a Sierra Leone lady , we have a beautiful strong boy, I really don’t worry and don’t care to any comment from people, we are happy and that,s all

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 10:33 pmReply

      Thanks for writing in and sharing your story! All the best to you and your family!

  • KristyOctober 21, 2014 pm31 12:37 pmReply

    Wow. People are such assholes.

  • Theresa Craig-GuruleOctober 21, 2014 pm31 12:42 pmReply

    Gotta say AMEN to this response! I would like to add – we will stop talking about it, when the hatred of those who falsely report images against a multi-racial Facebook site, and get it shut down based on lies NO LONGER OCCURS. When everyone finally sees that hating someone else because of skin color is ignorant, stupid and a waist of valuable time and energy, then we can stop talking about it. Love conquers all, and is the strongest energy in the universe. Perhaps that is why ignorance and evil tries so hard to destroy it. But love will NEVER be destroyed.

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 10:33 pmReply

      True.

  • Cherrye VasquezOctober 21, 2014 pm31 1:31 pmReply

    AMEN!!

    To that I’ll say – AMEN!

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 10:34 pmReply

      🙂

  • MekaOctober 21, 2014 pm31 1:55 pmReply

    I love it. KEEP talking about IT until THEY stop talking about IT.

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 10:34 pmReply

      Absolutely!

  • MiaOctober 21, 2014 pm31 2:12 pmReply

    Do you have a brother like you? 😉 I love it, keep talking!

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 10:35 pmReply

      Sorry, no brothers. But thanks for writing in and for the support!

  • ToniOctober 21, 2014 pm31 3:02 pmReply

    That’s right so keep talking if we never shut up things will change sooner or later good to here from you again!

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 10:35 pmReply

      Thanks so much for the ongoing support!

  • ToniOctober 21, 2014 pm31 3:07 pmReply

    keep talking as loud and as long as you want and i will too great to here from you again blessings to your family!

  • Jason CarboOctober 21, 2014 pm31 3:16 pmReply

    To me you are just another beautiful family!! God bless!!

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 10:36 pmReply

      Thank you!!

  • NamePatricia HaynesOctober 21, 2014 pm31 4:30 pmReply

    Comment Alex, I understand your anger, I once lived it. But we live in a very cruel and evil world. Some of us get it, and some don’t. Enjoy your beautiful wife and son, and don’t worry about the sicko’s, they’ll never get it.

    Love doesn’t come in colors, it just comes. God wants us to love one another as he loves us, but so many people just don’t get it.

    You and your family our my brother and sister in Christ. I wish the absolute best for your union.

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 10:36 pmReply

      Thanks for the love and support!!

  • ickaOctober 21, 2014 pm31 4:51 pmReply

    Good for you! Those are great events that will warrant the conversation to stop! Glad you spoke out! Beautiful Family!

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 10:37 pmReply

      Thanks for writing in and for the support!

  • KristynOctober 21, 2014 pm31 5:36 pmReply

    I agree with everything you said here, especially the “don’t see color” statement! My husband and I don’t have kids yet, but it sounds about right. You go right on and keep talking about it! 🙂

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 10:41 pmReply

      Thanks for the support!

  • Kathleen RueskenOctober 21, 2014 pm31 5:37 pmReply

    Comment AMEN!!!

  • GaryOctober 21, 2014 pm31 5:59 pmReply

    Keep talk’n Alex… I like catching your posts.

    • AlexOctober 21, 2014 pm31 10:42 pmReply

      Very cool! Thanks so much!

  • Chanel DavisOctober 21, 2014 pm31 6:12 pmReply

    I love your post!!! Keep talking about it because I enjoy reading about it. I get weird looks because I m a black female dating a white guy!!! Love is love not a color.
    Thanks for sharing.

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:13 pmReply

      Thanks for writing in! Thanks for the support!

  • Bette DoddOctober 21, 2014 pm31 6:15 pmReply

    I have a mixed up family. I want people to be blinded so they have no choice but to see with their hearts!

  • NameTonyOctober 21, 2014 pm31 6:58 pmReply

    Comment——The only thing that will stop racial problems in this country,is inter marriage,like it or not,that’s the answer-good for you and your wife,and your beautiful child

  • Theresa. CardazoneOctober 21, 2014 pm31 7:20 pmReply

    You have a beautiful family! And u are right that we all should talk about it until we don’t have to talk about it anymore! 🙂
    Theresa Cardazone

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:13 pmReply

      Thank you so much!

  • Alesia CalhounOctober 21, 2014 pm31 7:53 pmReply

    Comment

    Very well said! You have a beautiful family!!

    • AlexOctober 23, 2014 pm31 10:12 pmReply

      Thank you so much!

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