By now, you are well aware that Donald Trump has been elected to serve as America’s next President. You know this because Mommy and Daddy won’t stop sobbing and cursing. We’re sorry, and we promise to get it together soon.
What you may not fully understand is why we’re so upset. In short, it’s because we’re worried that American may have just elected a fascist the likes of which the World hasn’t seen since WWII. Unclear so far. But, given the way that period of history unfolded, and given that our family is a Multiracial and Jewish one, Mommy are a bit on edge. When you get to social studies class you’ll understand why.
In the meantime, as your father, I want to pass on some handy-dandy coping mechanisms for you to adopt for the duration of the Trump Administration (which will hopefully not last any longer than one 4-year term, and, if there is any mercy in this World, may end before that, collapsing under the weight of scandal and corruption that it seems to be laying the foundation for even as I write this).
So, without further ado, here are my tips:
1. stay optimistic (but keep your eyes and ears open)
2. make sure you know where the exits are in any building you enter and that you have a clear path to access them
3. if you get separated from Mommy and Daddy, just keep heading uptown till you get to Canada
Don’t worry too much, though. Mommy and Daddy are here. And, we’re looking out for you. On the other hand, if anyone starts asking for your papers, you come tell me right away.