I was having dinner with a buddy of mine (he’s White) and a friend of his (also White).  And, my buddy started to say something racially charged, which I know because he lowered his voice and looked both ways first. Then, he said, “you know, they’re Black.”

Then he nodded to me and said, “I can’t really talk about it. But, Alex can, he gets a pass.”

A pass?!

Because I’m married to a Black woman I can be a racist?  Like a PBA card that gets me out of speeding tickets.  Like a Monopoly Get out of Jail Free card that gets me out of jail.  Like I’m an approved flyer at the TSA.  Like no matter the circumstance, I can say whatever racist sh* I want, and I just pull out my pass, and I’m fine.  Like I could walk up to a Black guy on the street and just say “My N-word” and just keep walking, smiling, whistling, like it was nothing.

You think that’s how it works?  It does not.

Now what’s so crazy is that my buddy didn’t even say anything racist.  He said that Black people were Black. Which isn’t racist at all, except it is because in his mind the word “Black” equals the word “N-Word.”  Why else would he lower his voice and say he needed a pass to keep uttering the thought he had?

So, yes, he didn’t say anything at all racist, and yet, it’s apparent, that he has the desire to be racist out loud.  He’s thinking: “Man, I’d really like to say something racist, but my wife’s not Black, so I don’t have permission. But, if my wife was Black like Alex’s, than man, I’d really go to town. I’d be telling jokes filled with stereotypes and the N-Word for days.”

And, then after all that, I had  to sit there and act like nothing happened.  Even though I was thinking that I didn’t even know this person who I thought was my friend.  I thought he was someone who didn’t judge people, who didn’t fall prey to popular misconceptions and stereotypes.  Yet, then he went and said, “Alex has a pass,” and I learned what was really in his heart.