Loving Day and Parents and Kids of Different Races

Written by Alex on June 10, 2015 - 0 Comments

Just two short days from today is Loving Day, a day which honors and commemorates the Supreme Court’s decision putting an end to laws that ban interracial marriage (click here for more on that).

One aspect of this issue that doesn’t often get enough attention is the consequence — i.e., the kids of interracial marriages who are sometimes (and often) dealing with tricky questions about race with a parent who may not fully comprehend the racial issues that the child is dealing with.

For example, what happens when a White parent has to help a biracial child who is half-Black and half-White deal with issues of racism against Black people, when the child because of his or her appearance suffers the indignities of racism that are aimed at Black people.  Conversely, how does a Black parent help a biracial child who is so light they are most often viewed as White (and not seen as Black by others) understand what it’s like to be the target of racism when the child himself or herself never seems to be an actual target?

Some will say “love conquers all” and that the answer is that if you love your children enough, you will find a solution.  Perhaps this is true.  But the skeptic in me makes me wonder if this isn’t a bit oversimplified.

As a dad of a biracial child, I’m particularly concerned about this.  Right now, race doesn’t often enter into our conversations.  Our son is not quite 4, and he doesn’t really grasp the myriad complexities of race and race relations in the United States.  But, it won’t be long till he starts to become aware of those, and I wonder what it will be like when we’re trying to have conversations about racial issues he’s confronted personally that I have not.

In the end, the burgeoning number of multiracial families that owe their direct thanks to the Lovings is a great thing.  But, as we celebrate Loving Day, let’s not forget the kids who are a direct result of this momentous event.

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